Understanding Grief and Loss

Grief and loss are two of the most universal and powerful human experiences. Whether it’s the passing of a loved one, the end of a meaningful relationship, a job loss, a significant life change, or even a move to a new city—loss impacts everyone. Yet even though these experiences are common, they often feel incredibly isolating and overwhelming.

We tend to associate grief with death, but grief can arise anytime we experience a significant ending or change. The end of a romantic relationship, the death of a pet, the estrangement of a close friend, or losing a dream or goal we've worked toward for years—all of these can bring on intense feelings of grief. Even positive changes, like retirement or a child leaving for college, can stir up deep emotional responses.

Grief is a sign of love, of connection, of meaning. It reminds us that something or someone mattered deeply to us. But when we’re in the thick of it, the experience can feel unbearable.

The Many Faces of Loss

Loss can take many forms. You might be grieving:

• A person: a family member, friend, partner, or pet.
• A role or identity: being a parent of a young child, a caregiver, or a high-achieving professional.
• A sense of stability or safety: after a trauma, accident, diagnosis, or natural disaster.
• A community or home: after a move, divorce, or immigration.
• A dream or future: when life takes a drastically different path than expected.

In each of these cases, we are not only mourning what we’ve lost, but also confronting what the future will now look like without that person, role, or dream. That dual reality is what makes grief so disorienting. We’re often left asking, “What now?”

According to the American Psychological Association, 67% of Americans have experienced at least one significant loss in the past three years. Yet, many say they weren’t sure how to cope with it or felt they didn’t have the support they needed. The truth is, most of us are not taught how to grieve. We’re taught to move on quickly, stay strong, or avoid the pain altogether. But healing doesn’t come from avoidance—it comes from acknowledgment.

When Loss Hits Suddenly

Some losses give us time to prepare. Others arrive like a sudden storm. The unexpected death of a loved one, a surprise breakup, or an abrupt layoff can leave us stunned, unmoored, and unsure of how to process what just happened. This kind of grief can be especially complicated.

It’s common in these moments to feel like the rug has been pulled out from under us. Our minds scramble to make sense of what happened, often replaying events or imagining what we could have done differently. We might also become hypervigilant, anticipating other losses or bracing for more pain. These reactions are normal—and they’re part of our brain’s attempt to protect us.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 30% of U.S. adults reported symptoms of anxiety or depression in the aftermath of a personal loss or life disruption, particularly after COVID-19 and other global stressors. These symptoms often include trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, loss of appetite, or a sense of emotional numbness. Recognizing these signs early is crucial in getting the support you need.

The Emotional Impact of Grief

Grief doesn’t follow a linear path. It can come in waves—some days feel manageable, while others feel unbearable. Emotions can be intense, varied, and sometimes contradictory. You may feel:

• Sadness at the loss itself.
• Anger at the situation, people involved, or even yourself.
• Guilt for things left unsaid or undone.
• Relief if the loss ended a painful chapter (which can feel confusing).
• Fear about what’s next or how you’ll cope.

Some people experience what’s known as anticipatory grief—grieving a loss before it happens, such as during a loved one’s illness or a major life change. Others may experience delayed grief, where emotions surface months or even years later.

It’s important to know that these emotional responses are valid. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Why Talking About Grief Helps

One of the most healing things you can do in the face of loss is to talk about it. Sharing your feelings, memories, worries, or even your silence with a compassionate listener can help you begin to process your grief.

Talking helps:

• Make sense of the experience.
• Release emotions that feel stuck or overwhelming.
• Reduce isolation by feeling seen and heard.
• Discover new ways to cope and move forward.

In therapy, clients often say they feel a sense of relief simply by naming their loss out loud. Others gain insight into how the loss is affecting their identity, relationships, or daily functioning. Processing grief doesn’t mean forgetting—it means integrating the loss into your life in a way that allows you to keep going.

At Open Arms Wellness in St. Louis, we provide a supportive, nonjudgmental space to navigate grief at your own pace. Whether you’ve just experienced a loss or are still carrying pain from years ago, we’re here to walk with you.

Grief’s Impact on Identity and Self-Esteem

Loss can shake your sense of who you are. If you’ve lost a role—like spouse, employee, or caregiver—you might question your purpose. If you’ve lost someone who loved and validated you, you might doubt your worth. Grief can magnify insecurities, heighten shame, or surface unresolved issues from the past.

This is why grief work is not just about dealing with sadness. It’s also about rebuilding your sense of self, reconnecting with your strengths, and redefining what meaning and connection look like moving forward.

Research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders found that individuals who engaged in grief-focused therapy were 45% more likely to report increased emotional resilience and life satisfaction six months after treatment compared to those who received no intervention. This shows the value of actively working through grief—not to erase it, but to understand and integrate it.

Moving Forward: Grieving, Not Forgetting

Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting. It means honoring the loss while continuing to live. This often involves:

• Creating rituals to remember the person or chapter that’s ended.
• Exploring meaning, even when things feel senseless.
• Accepting support, whether from friends, family, faith, or professionals.
• Setting small goals to regain a sense of progress.
• Being gentle with yourself in moments of setback or sorrow.

There’s no timeline for healing. What matters is that you allow yourself to grieve in the way that feels most authentic to you.

At Open Arms Wellness, we believe that grief deserves attention, compassion, and care. You don’t need to navigate it alone. Our clinicians are trained to help you find clarity, process difficult emotions, and take meaningful steps forward—at your own pace.

You’re Not Alone

Grief and loss are deeply personal, but they are also deeply human. Everyone goes through them—and everyone deserves support while doing so.

Whether you’re mourning a recent loss or grappling with long-buried grief, therapy can offer a lifeline. It’s a place to feel safe, heard, and gently guided toward healing. You don’t have to rush. You don’t have to have it all figured out. But you do deserve a space where your grief can be witnessed and your healing supported.

If you’re in the St. Louis area, consider reaching out to Open Arms Wellness. We’re here to walk alongside you as you begin your next chapter—one filled with hope, meaning, and connection.